The Young, The Old and The Retarded (Me).

Blogger #14

Apologies for the hiatus. Or if you prefer we apologize for returning, then, well, apologies for that. Semester examinations are usually a drag if you're an engineering student, or a student in India. When you, like all four of us, happen to reside in the intersection of these two heinous circles in a Venn diagram, you tend to pass through the Flames of Hell when these exams come knocking.

Dem Sems

But you don't really care about that do you? No, you don't. So, upon our return we decided to start off on a not so serious note and go down the tried and tested route of putting up two teams and trying to guess who wins.

So Spring Chickens vs Winter Cocks. (I made that up if it's any good, if not, it was #25).

A team full of players who are in the early stages of their career versus a team full of veterans who are closer to the exit door than the new law against gays in India is closer to stupidity.

For this exercise in futility, players born on or after January 1, 1990 are considered for the youth team, while those who are born before January 1, 1984 can get into the Golden Oldies. Premier League only by the way. So don't ask me about Neymar or Xavi.

Team Spring Chickens:

Goalkeeper: David de Gea

DOB: November 7, 1990

Club: Manchester United

What's a surefire way to make people forget you look like an alpaca? Become one of the best shot stoppers in the Premier League.

A cruel reminder. Sorry David.

Right Back: Nathaniel Clyne

DOB: April 5, 1991

Club: Southampton

Having established himself as a regular starter in what is an excellent Southampton back five, it really is no surprise that Clyne walks into this team, slotting in at right back.

That'll scare them wingers away.

Centre Back: Steven Caulker

DOB: December 29, 1991

Club: Cardiff City

A stellar season on loan at Swansea wasn't quite enough for Caulker to get playing time at Tottenham. But it takes some serious guts to move to a much smaller club in an era where greed is growing in the game. All this at the age of 22. Oh, small footnote, he's captain of Cardiff as well. Would probably be skippering this team too.

That 8 million looks like a bargain. Cardiff captain.

Centre Back: Matija Nastasic

DOB: March 28, 1993

Club: Manchester City

If you're a regular first team starter at a club like Manchester City, you better be good. Matija Nastasic is good. And he's 20.

Making sure Stefan Savic isn't missed.

Left Back: Luke Shaw

DOB: July 12, 1995

Club: Southampton

Scroll up. Read whatever muck I wrote for Clyne. Substitute 'left' for 'right'. Also, drop jaw at age. Go on.

England's future. Couldn't think of anything stupid to say, sorry.

Centre midfield: Aaron Ramsey

DOB: December 26, 1990

Club: Arsenal

Arguably this season's standout player. He can score, assist, tackle, pass, dribble, run and then save the world. Also, it's not gay if it's with Aaron Ramsey....

...as long as you don't tell anyone.

Centre Midfield: Ross Barkley

DOB: December 5, 1993

Club: Everton

After a horrific injury, which broke his leg in 3 places, Barkley has shown great character to come back and play at the highest level. The best part? He belongs at the highest level.

Another difficult to caption picture

Attacking Midfield: Eden Hazard

DOB: January 7, 1991

Club: Chelsea

The torchbearer of Belgium's Golden Generation, this guy has all the tools to be the world's best. At 22, he's got the world at his feet. I'm struggling not to do this, but....

..he can be quite hazardous for the opposition defenders. #Sorry.

Attacking Midfield: Oscar

DOB: September 9, 1991

Club: Chelsea

Any team of youngsters seems incomplete without a Brazilian wonderkid in its ranks. There you go. Oscar. Looks younger than he is. Plays older than he is.

"Senor 14 say what?"

Attacking Midfield: Adnan Januzaj

DOB: February 5, 1995

Club: Manchester United

It's somewhat strange that Januzaj is eligible to play for a larger number of nations than the number of years he's been around breathing and stuff. It's not too strange that all these nations are clamouring for his allegiance. This kid can play.

First day of high school

Striker: Romelu Lukaku

DOB: May 13, 1993

Club: Everton (on loan from Chelsea)

He's got all the makings of a Drogba v2. He's certainly ahead in terms of his development than Drogba was at the same stage. Chelsea would miss a trick in letting him go.

Tankaku

Substitutes: Wojciech Szczesny (Arsenal), Phil Jones (Manchester United), Jack Wilshere (Arsenal), Gerard Deulofeu (Everton, on loan from Barcelona), Christian Benteke (Aston Villa).

Team Winter Cocks:

Haha, I'm so funny (or conversely, #25 is so not funny).

Goalkeeper: Petr Cech

DOB: May 20, 1982

Club: Chelsea

He's been one of the Premier League's best keepers for a long, long time. It won't be long before Courtois takes his place, but till then...

..it's Cechmate for strikers.

Right back: Bacary Sagna

DOB: February 14, 1983

Club: Arsenal

Whether Arsenal defend well or poorly, Sagna has stayed the same. Great aerial presence, rock solid, consistent, warrior-like. Arsenal fans will be hoping he signs a new contract.

"You think you're getting past me?"

Centre Back: John Terry

DOB: December 7, 1980

Club: Chelsea

Captain America would love to have that kind of introduction. "John Terry. Captain. Leader. Legend.". Captain Planet too for that matter, or even Cap'n Jack Sparrow. I don't know what else to say. So here's a picture.

John Terry. Captain. Leader. Legend. Old.

Centre Back: Phil Jagielka
DOB: August 17, 1982
Club: Everton

He may not quite have the high profile that some of his other English colleagues do, but Jagielka has proven himself to be a hallmark of consistency over the years, becoming a rock in the heart of a Toffee defense that is quite hard to break down. Joke, get it? Hahaha.

"Thou shalt not pass...eth!"

Left Back: Ashley Cole
DOB: December 20, 1980
Club: Chelsea

The term 'world class' has been bandied about for a long time, almost as long as Ashley Cole's been around. One thing is for sure though, Ashley Cole is world class.

Just needed an excuse to post this.

Centre Midfield: Mikel Arteta
DOB: March 26, 1982
Club: Arsenal

They say goalkeepers get better with age. Well, so does Mikel Arteta. Ever since he moved to Arsenal, he's transformed into a human metronome with perfect hair. The numbers he's racked up are insane...

..and so is his missus. Not literally of course.

Centre Midfield: Michael Carrick
DOB: July 28, 1981
Club: Manchester United

There's a lot of talk about how Carrick is underrated. Well, considering how United fans dread his absence as much as they do Rooney's or van Persie's, it's safe to say they certainly do rate him.

Carrick spotting a free man 70 yards away.

Attacking Midfield: Tomas Rosicky
DOB: October 4, 1980
Club: Arsenal

According to him, he's "only" 31 in "footballing years". He plays like a man ten years younger. Drive, hustle, bite, vision, energy are all part of his package. Err, you know what I meant. He's been the catalyst for Arsenal's revivals in the last two seasons and storms into this team.

"Just completed a 100 laps, bitches"

Attacking Midfield: Yaya Toure
DOB: May 13, 1983
Club: Manchester City

Not only is Yaya Toure the best player on this team, he's one of the best in the league. He's a tank, a wrecking ball and a machine gun rolled into one. Plays in the the AM role for this side.

Yaya's face after bulldozing the entire opposition...again.

Attacking Midfield: Ryan Giggs
DOB: 50 B.C.
Club: Manchester United

To watch Ryan Giggs in action is a lesson in wing play. Staying wide, yet cutting in when the opportunity arises. I was talking about his private life, but it applies to his footballing skills too. He's older than everybody on this list combined and is still turning in stellar performances. Okay, I was exaggerating about being older than everyone on the list combined.

His real DOB is November 29, 1973 by the way.

Striker: Robin van Persie
DOB: August 6, 1983
Club: Arsenal Manchester United

He certainly does look 30, what with the greying hair and all. But it doesn't take away from the fact that he is one of the top strikers in this league. With intelligence and movement being his greatest strengths, this is one guy who's got a few years at the very top left in him.

RvP trying to listen to the little boy inside him.

Substitutes: Tim Howard (Everton), Nemanja Vidic (Manchester United), Steven Gerrard (Liverpool), Frank Lampard (Chelsea), Dimitar Berbatov (Fulham).

Team Spring Chickens

Team Winter Cocks

Our predictions:
#14: 2-1 to the old boys
#18: 2-0 to the old boys
#25: 1-1 draw
#7: 1-0 to the young boys

Drop in a comment with your scoreline, or your own teams. Or about the weather. Just drop a comment. Please. Please.
Thanking you,
Yours sincerely,
#14

Kagawa - United's Shin(j)ing Star. Or Not?

Blogger #18


“Football is a simple game, complicated by idiots” – Bill Shankly

This quote sums up football in a nutshell. For all its tactics, formations, diagrams and complicated analysis, football is a very simple game. While there isn’t exactly a ‘right’ way to play it, the teams hailed for their style of football usually do the simple things right. Pass, control, pass, and move. Repeat.

Which is why I love Shinji Kagawa. 

His beauty is his simplicity. Blessed with a great touch and fantastic ability to read the game, he’s wonderfully efficient at everything he does. He won’t take three or four touches when one or none will suffice. His decision making is up there with the best. He’s pleasing on the eye, but that’s because he makes it all seem so effortless. But that’s not to say that he’s a ‘luxury player’, someone reluctant to run around and close down. In his time at BvB, Kagawa set the pace for all Bundesliga players by running an average of 12.36 km per 90 minutes.

But with all that said, he hasn’t made anywhere near as much impact as was expected when he came in for that ridiculously cheap €16m. Of course, the reaction to this among fan groups has been ridiculous in the extreme. So many United fans have taken to social media sites and other message boards to berate Moyes for his decisions and Kagawa’s disappointing form, not to mention a ludicrous “Free Shinji” campaign started by Dortmund fans in a futile attempt to get the player to abandon his United adventure just one year in.

So, what’s the matter with Shinji?

Staunch supporters have pointed out the need for time in order to adapt to the physical nature of the English League, and fairly so. But after having had a full year to adapt and improve on his physical conditioning, there hasn’t been much change in his fortunes. So one begins to wonder whether his problem is adapting to the culture of the English League, or, when we look more closely, to the Manchester United system.

A bedding-in period was always going to be required, not just for the player, but for the club as well. Manchester United have rarely played with an ‘attacking midfielder’ over the past two decades, the role usually being fulfilled by withdrawn forwards (a la Yorke, Rooney). The closest they went to playing an attacking midfielder was Paul Scholes for a brief period between 2002-2004. But that looked to have changed at the beginning of the 2012-13 season. After having painfully missed out on the title by the slimmest of margins, Fergie seems to have realised it was about time he bought a playmaker of genuine quality. With Kagawa coming in, it was only a matter of time before he struck a partnership with Rooney and set the league alight. But the sudden availability of Van Persie complicated things, and Fergie couldn’t resist buying one of the best strikers in the world. This summer was no less different. With Ferguson seemingly falling out with Rooney, it seemed certain Rooney was going to be shown the door, and Kagawa would be given a shot at playing in the hole behind Van Persie. But Kagawa’s fortunes were struck a blow once again with Fergie’s retirement. Moyes came in, and was determined to retain Rooney. You have to question Rooney's decisions when it comes to contracts and his fitness (I certainly do) but under Moyes he has come back in great shape and has performed from the word go. With Rooney starting the season in good form, Kagawa was once again ‘accommodated’ into the side. If and when he was to play, he was pushed to the left, from where he has struggled to influence the game.

But playing from the left wing isn’t exactly new territory for Kagawa. Even during his time at Dortmund, Kagawa was forced to play out wide when on national duty, as Honda was given the central role. This is where the Manchester United system of play suffocates Kagawa.

A winger in a 4-4-2 (or 4-4-1-1) formation needs to be pacy, aggressive, good at taking on players, individualistic, and partly good at defending. None of these qualities describe Kagawa as a player. A trait which Japan and Dortmund have in common is that there's a lot of off-the-ball movement. Even if Kagawa plays on the left for Japan (though not nearly enough to be called a winger), he still has several players making lung-busting runs around him. Kagawa greatly benefited from Dortmund's (and to an extent, Japan’s) sophisticated passing game and would create play in all sorts of subtle ways, from quick turns to dummies to one-two passes. In most cases he played with only one or two touches.

While United’s system doesn’t exactly discourage such clever off the ball movement or short passing play, United’s way of retaining defensive stability leaves little room for such movement. It's not that the PL is too physical that makes things hard for Kagawa. It's the fact that United play with too little movement. We've seen some moments where the players will move around but not a lot and that's where it becomes harder for Kagawa to influence. And he is not of the build to be able to chase down long, high passes. Combine this with the roles given to the wingers at United (dribble, run at defenders and cross) and you have what looks like a square peg in a round hole.

I’m loathe to mention Man City at this point, but it is worthwhile. David Silva provides an excellent (light) blue-print for how Kagawa can make it work even with Rooney in the side. When he features, Silva is nominally played on the wide-left of City’s midfield but in reality his role is far less restrictive than that. Starting from the left, he is allowed to roam across the pitch, affecting the game in central areas, supporting the strikers, and finding pockets of space in between the opposition’s defensive set-up. Predominantly played behind the striker at Valencia, Siva has beautifully adapted to the system at Man City.

All that said, his fans have been brilliant. A few over-reactions aside, they have been wonderfully supportive and hopeful. The diminutive Japanese attacker has often been hailed as an invaluable talent upon which the club has failed to capitalize fully, especially when taken in the context of the Red’s usual lack of creativity should our wingers or Michael Carrick fail to produce in a game. One thing is clear. Shinji Kagawa is a player quite unlike any other player in United's squad. Clever and creative with a fantastic eye for goal. These qualities, combined with the club’s continued failure to sign any real creative force in midfield, means Shinji has become of more value to the team in the eyes of the fans than his performances to date have measured up to. He is hailed as much for the type of player he is and the style of play he represents than for any consistency of performance in his maiden season in Manchester. People are actively looking for the slightest thing to praise him for.

Though I want him to succeed here, I cannot shake the small bad feeling that he will be a (skilful) misfit to our side a la Berbatov. Brilliant player for the wrong team. He would slot in perfectly at somewhere like Arsenal. Of course, the eternally optimistic ones will call for patience after a workmanlike yet effective performance against Arsenal. It was pretty far from being Kagawa's best performance for United (I'd give him 6-6.5). But his defensive display looked better than ever. I'm not too excited about this, but if it awards him more playing time, then I guess it's for the better. Even so, there were enough fleeting glimpses of his creative brilliance to ensure expectations remain high for Kagawa. He is a different type of player to the rest of the team, shorn of power and pace, but bursting with inventiveness, clever movement, and deft passing. The problem he faces now is similar to last season: Wayne Rooney.

Now I don't think Rooney is as inventive as Kagawa, nor as good at link-up play. However, Rooney is more of a talisman. That said, I think Rooney has burned his bridges with many fans. Another problem is that Moyes has backed Rooney so publicly that he cannot drop him.  If Rooney signs an extension, Kagawa’s chances look pretty slim. Unless he actually manages to make more of an impact from the left. Of course, there's still a chance he'll come good with regular time in that LW-ish role. The chances of him taking over from Rooney in the middle, however, look extremely slim at the moment. Rooney will have to leave to make room for him - or so I think right now. But God knows, things change fast sometimes in football.

But in the meantime, as we wait for a definitive answer to our little Japanese’s future, patience looks the only way forward. Put the pitchforks and torches away and pray in silent hope. For fitness has come, can form be far behind?

Death By Interlull - 2

Blogger: #14

Following the lukewarm response that my last post along similar lines elicited, being the shrewd businessmen we are, we decided to make it a series of sorts. So you'll be hearing a lot more of the time I spend during these dreaded Interlulls dreading these Interlulls. Along with my partners in crime #s 18, 7 and 25. And Billy, he of the shotgun notoriety, of course.

Billy.

Now, this time, the delightful world of club football has stopped to enable a few nations to take part in qualifiers for the World Cup in Brazil, 2014. Not that anyone cares of course. This particular Interlull grates with its timing. It has hardly been a month since the previous one, so you're neither in the stage of still reeling from the blow of the previous one, too numb to notice a new attack, nor are you in an advanced stage of recovery. So this little virus has come hit you right where it hurts. Now, blokes like myself and other members of the Wall are the sort whose notifications on Facebook (again, like us here) are largely comprised of invitations to play Criminal Case or Farmville. So take away this day our daily bread and we look at each other with that quizzical expression you find on owls. I think.

"You're telling me to kill time without watching football?"

 So, anyway, we decided like good Spartans to not be cowed by this period of drought and met up at #7's place and revel in the company of old friends. Billy had a nice vacation planned with his girlfriend, so he couldn't make it, but we didn't have that luxury, so we made it. The luxury being the girlfriend and the vacation. We're poor and we got no game. Or rather, we got no game and we're poor. Symmetry and all that guff. The evening was off to a promising start when 18 to much merriment of the others failed to name United's starting lineup for the 1999 Champions League final against Bayern Munich. #25 went a step further, and praised Scolari's and AVB's Chelsea tenures. #7 just punched everyone when he got bored. But all this mirth was for naught, because some cretin mentioned Hindi commentary. If this weren't enough, another cretin (or it could be the same one, I have conveniently forgotten who these cretins were, forgive me) asked who Liverpool were playing next and the fatal blow was dealt. The Interlull, so happily forgotten for a couple of hours, announced itself like a loud fart in a library. Like a striptease at a kindergarten. Like a black metal concert at a church. Like Voldemort at Harry's wedding. Like an 'important announcement' right in the middle of lunch break. You get the idea yes? Anyway, after that, the evening resembled one of those funerals minus the hysterical wife beating herself to death that you see on these Hindi soaps. Not that I watch any. P'ffft, of course not. That'd be not macho. #7 does, Not me. #18 too. And #25. But me? No sir.

On a personal note, the past week has been something of a horror show for me. Arsenal lost to Manchester United, and Robin van Persie scored. Yay. As if that wasn't enough, my mum starts deleting my comments on her Facebook statuses because they are "embarrassing". What will her friends think apparently. Oh, oh, AND I KEEP LOSING FOLLOWERS ON TWITTER (Follow us here. I'd put my handle too, but #7 didn't let me).

A face to sum my week up

It got better though. I found this juicy hamburger. Except that the calories have been replaced by a large dollop of mentally unbalanced homosexuality. Though the guy who made the video insists it's not gay if it's with Aaron Ramsey. Hopefully it kills some time for you lads. And ladies. Because I believe women do read this blog. Yessir.

Anyway, I have digressed quite enough, back to the Interlull whining. It's peculiar how, regardless of your team's form, the Interlull is a bad thing. Losing streak? Getting back on the horse is the trick you say. Winning streak? Momentum is key you say. We have a thousand different opinions but that's one good thing about the Interlull I suppose, it unites us all. Diversity in unity and all that. We all suffer together, not as Gooners or Cules or Madridistas or Mancs or Scousers or Geordies but as Interlull cullings (Interculls, get it? HAHAHAHAHAHA). Except Billy, of course, and his gorgeous girlfriend. Speaking of Billy, where's that shotgun when you need it? #7's tried to drown his misery in drink (Diet Coke), and is now kicking the milkman screaming "FOR THE IRISH"(Henry hater, if you must know). Though how good old Balagurusamy resembles Thierry Henry is beyond me. Alcohol eh? Bloody hell. Why is the milkman here, you ask? We spent the evening drinking hard liquor (REALLY!) and we passed out and now it's morning. Anyway, I'm off to try to save the poor old milkman. Toodles lads.
Want to know if the milkman died? Want to know if I shot #7 or the milkman? Want to know why I'm allowed to roam freely in public? Drop in a comment.
Till next time,
Thanking You,
Yours sincerely,
#14

Blue Beats Blue - The Cashico Review

Blogger #18

Football is a funny game. The responsibility and the media attention that the managers receive is unreal. More often than not, they are painted as the sole reason for a team winning or losing. Great footballing teams are often referred to by the manager who was at the helm through that period (Arrigo Sacchi’s Milan, Pep Guardiola’s Barcelona, Jose Mourinho’s Chelsea, etc.) and deservedly so. But for a majority of individual games, holding the manager responsible for ‘tactical malfunctions’ is quite absurd because tactics and formations don’t always win games. There’s only so much a manager can do with tactics and beyond that, it’s up to the players.  

Much of the post-match reaction to this match was centred on Mourinho ‘outwitting’ Pellegrini. While Pellegrini didn’t make it any easier for himself by refusing to shake Mourinho’s hand at the final whistle, raising questions on Pellegrini’s tactical nous based on the result of this match defeats the point because tactically, Manchester City were fine.

Line Ups, Shape and Intent:

Line-Ups

Mata was once again benched as Mourinho started with Hazard and Schurrle on the wings. Torres was preferred over Eto’o to lead the attack.

The City line-up showed some interesting decisions. With captain Kompany injured, Demichelis was drafted in for his first start of the season. Further up, Negredo was sacrificed for an extra midfielder as Javi Garcia was brought in. Yaya Toure was pushed higher up, behind Aguero.

Although both teams retained a formation that roughly resembled the popular 4-2-3-1, their intentions were nothing similar. Mourinho has often conceded the possession in big games, content to play on the counter, and this game was no different. City largely dominated possession (54.5%) while Chelsea were content defending deep, drawing their opponents in before hitting them on the counter. (A strategy that was highly effective in Chelsea’s midweek CL win at Schalke. They won 0-3 with just 40% of possession).

Differing Strategies:

A lot of questions have been asked post-match regarding Pellegrini’s decision to leave out Negredo out of the starting line-up. Pellegrini revealed in his pre-match interview that he was aware of Chelsea’s counter-attacking threat, and he set about neutralising it. As I pointed out in my review of the Manchester Derby (read it here if you haven’t), City are prone to leaving gaps between defence and midfield with Toure and Fernandinho in the side (neither a proper defensive midfielder) and in the absence of Garcia, Oscar might have had a field day. While the argument can be made that City missed Negredo and his hold-up ability, Garcia had a solid game and kept the ball moving, completing 48 passes in his time on the field with an accuracy of 98%. If Pellegrini’s logic behind including Garcia was to help ball retention and close the gaps in midfield, it worked out alright.

Silva reprised Nasri’s role from the game against United. Roaming all over the pitch, he was crucial to City dominating possession completing the highest number of passes compared to any other player on the pitch. Nasri played a similar role on the right wing, although to a lesser extent, his ability to cut inside onto his right foot restricted due to his position on the right wing rather than the left.  But it looked like sterile domination for much of the match and Chelsea were content to sit deep and let their opponents have the ball.

Silva making his presence felt all over the pitch

If and when City got into Chelsea’s penalty box, Chelsea had the numbers on their side and City were restricted to shots from narrow angles. But City had some brilliant phases of intricate passing, and scored their goal from one such phase. Some quick passing found Terry and Cahill much higher than the centerbacks would have wanted, and Aguero had more time and space to rifle a brilliant shot past Cech, albeit from a similar narrow angle.

City’s packed midfield, their high line and possession based play meant that Chelsea had to hit them with high paced counter-attacks that could exploit City’s high line. Chelsea found two ways to do this, either with simple balls over City’s defence, or by shifting the ball quickly to their forwards and asking them to beat their opposing man in 1v1 situations.  

In the absence of Kompany, City lacked a commanding presence in their defence, and their offside trap was sometimes found lacking (why a team which has spent almost 600m on transfers in recent times should rely so much on a single defender is beyond me). First Cahill blasted over, and soon after Torres missed his customary sitter from another lofted ball.

None of the designated ‘wingers’ or wide players that started the match were wingers in the classical sense. None of them hugged the touchline, aiming to beat the opposing wingbacks on the outside, as a Valencia or Navas would have. While the wingers involved in this match primarily played their game in the centre of the pitch, their approach to it was quite different. Both Silva and Nasri drifted all over the pitch, getting involved in the build-up play, making short passes and constantly recycling possession. On the other hand, the Chelsea wide-men looked to receive the ball in wide areas and dribble inside, looking to beat City defenders (Hazard leaving behind Zabaleta flat on his ass comes to mind) before going for the killer pass. Generally, City looked happy to deal with this, the extra man in midfield helping, but a moment’s lapse from Clichy led to Chelsea’s first goal, Torres steaming past him before crossing for Schurrle to tap in.

Chelsea attempting numerous dribbles

While we’re at it, Torres deserves a mention. He had a great game, more than making up for his earlier miss with some fine bits of individual play and dribbling. City found him difficult to deal with, and Torres ended up being the player who suffered the most fouls (He also attempted the highest no. of take-ons).

Much of Chelsea’s one touch passing was done in deeper areas by the likes of Terry, Cahill, Lampard and Ramires. The fact that Terry completed the highest number of passes for Chelsea is testament to this. The presence of David Luiz might have helped here. He possesses a far better range of passing compared to Terry and Cahill and could have helped in faster transitions from defence to attack.

Final Thoughts:

It was left to Hart and his antics to gift Chelsea the winner. While Hart will have to take most of the blame for the goal, it was another long ball over City’s high line causing them problems.

Ultimately, it was three individual errors (Clichy, Cech, Hart) that led to the goals. But Cech will feel hard done by. He acted instinctively. All Cech's training would have made him set up for a shot back across the goal but he was undone by a moment of brilliance and laser-like accuracy from the Argentinian, one of the moments of the match. That and Torres’ dribble into the box and hitting the bar. ‘El Cashico’ cannot match the El Clasico for technical quality, but these were two moments of genuine class.

Of course, next time, Cech will be more cautious but, next time, Aguero will probably lob it in the far corner, back-heel it between the keeper's legs or get down on his knees and head it in. Who knows what the cheeky bastard will do next?

Pellegrini will have to rethink his plans for Hart who has made 7 errors leading directly to a goal since the start of last season. No other EPL keeper has made more during the same period. For a title challenging team, that is quite a blatant weakness.

City played well for much of the game, and were undone by woeful individual errors. Mourinho got the three points, and most of the times that is all that matters, but Pellegrini can take heart from this performance. There was much to be positive about.  

The Four Man Wall FPL Tips - 4

Ahoy there Fantasy Premier League managers. We hope your team's been doing as well as ours and at the same time, another we also hope that it's not (it is a competition after all). But fear not, (or some people would say do fear) because we're back to give you the best of our picks for the upcoming week(s) of the Premier League.

I'd like to start by mentioning West Ham. Just before the international break, they pulled a shock result over Spurs. The few managers who had those West Ham players benefited from that flurry and were left content in the international break. But it's not too late to get in on the West Ham game. All 3 of the scorers from that day are still dead cheap. Facing Swansea(A), Villa(H), Norwich(A), Chelsea(H), Fulham(H) and Crystal Palace(A) in their next six games, you could end up with a hefty haul of points if you're willing to take a gamble. While Reid(5.0), being a defender, is quite a risk, Ravel Morrisson(4.5) and Ricardo Vaz Te(5.1) are as cheap as they come. They could be worth your investment, and you've got nothing to lose if they don't work out too as they could double up as useful bench players for your team.

Meanwhile, Southampton are showing no signs of letting up. Lovren and Fonte have become 5.5 and 5.1 respectively. They seem to be getting the job done, but if that's too much of a burden on your budget, then Clyne(4.5) and Shaw(4.7) are always there to help ease your pocket. Despite the strong strike force, Adam Lallana(6.2) is the man who's picking up the points. I'd say you get him now at this price before his price goes up even more over the next 3 weeks where they face Fulham(H), Stoke(A) and Hull(H).

Chelsea on the other hand have finally gotten into the groove it would seem and are performing consistently on the pitch. If you haven't already figured it out yet, it's still too risky to go for a Chelsea forward because the weather is more predictable than Jose. However, just behind their main striker, Hazard(9.0) has quietly gone on to justify his big FPL price tag and Oscar(9.0) has been consistent for most part of the season. Chelsea's next two games are against City and Newcastle, but post that, they have a brilliant run of fixtures, and you could bet that both Hazard and Oscar will be involved in whatever good they do in those games. Demand should be high post the Newcastle game, so you'd want to get them in early.

Spurs seem to have the game of the week from an FPL point of view. However, it's still difficult to see who their main man is. They all cost sizeable fees. However, Andros Townsend at 5.7 is the pick of the bunch according to me. He's been very impressive and he's been consistent on the pitch from a pure footballing point of view. I feel that it's just a matter of time before he starts to generate a good amount of points inflow for FPL managers. This weekend would be a great time to put your faith in him. Roberto Soldado(9.2) has finally gotten the monkey off his back by scoring his first goal from open play. Their next 3 fixtures are Hull(H), Everton(A) and Newcastle(H). I don't see Spurs winning big so Soldado is a risk, but for this gameweek, he seems a decent bet (not as safe as Townsend though). Meanwhile, Rose's injury has given Naughton(4.3) an opportunity to play in the Left Back role for Spurs. He finally offers another cheap alternative into the Spurs defence alongside Dawson(5.2). Certainly worth considering seeing as to how Spurs have managed 5 clean sheets in their opening 8 games.

Arsenal also have a seemingly easy game this weekend. However, it's short lived with Liverpool(H), United(A) and Soton(H) following this weekend's game. It goes without saying that you should stay away from the Arsenal defence who have managed only one clean sheet all season. However, there may be a change to the way that they operate in midfield. Aaron Ramsey may not get as far forward as he has been doing in recent weeks due to tactics asking for a more safe approach restricting the frequency of his forward runs.

Alternatives to the Arsenal frontman include the returning Christian Benteke(8.8) who got off to a flyer at the start of the season. His price is low currently, but it's just a matter of time before he hits form again and his price shoots up. Villa have Everton(H), West Ham(A), Cardiff(H), West Brom(A), Sunderland(H) and Southampton(A) in their next 6 games. Not the most ideal run of fixtures, but this season, the Villains have shown that they are more than capable of making a game out of any match that they play in. Another player to look out for is Adnan Januzaj(4.9). He seems to be the toast of the town, but FPL managers aren't flocking towards him, at least not yet. He didn't feature in the week against Sociedad, so he could get a start this weekend against Stoke.

So that's it from us on the eve of what promises to be a fantastic weekend of football. We hope your tips help you fare better than us and at the same time, worse than us as well. Regardless of how it goes, leave us a tip about our tips in the comments section.

#18 and #25

Arsenal v Dortmund. A Real Humdinger.

Blogger: #14

People who have the misfortune of interacting with me on a daily basis know that an Arsenal loss means one of two things:
1. A bit of a thundercloud over my head which makes me despise everyone and everything.
2. A weariness that is borne out of self-pity. A when-will-this-misery-end kind of misery.

But I woke up today with, believe it or not, satisfaction. My mum would gasp if she read this and would strongly suspect her son to have taken in a gallon or two of something that could cause his arrest if he chose to drive. Instead he chose to drivel (haha, but seriously, I'm as sober as can be). Some may accuse me of not being passionate enough, well, I wrote a very angry little piece right after our previous loss, which happened 12 GAMES AGO *smirks*. #25 told me it was too vitriolic and wasn't fit for public consumption, so it was consigned to the dreaded drafts list ( I deleted it later, the end). Now, it's not even like I chose to be satisfied with the game, it just so happens that I am. You may think that this is an Arsenal fan who has lost his marbles, and you're certainly not mistaken, but hear me out.

I'm as sane as this guy. 

Now, this was the first big team Arsenal faced this season (haha, Spurs) and we acquitted ourselves very well. Don't let the annoying nasally commentator fool you, the whole 'we were poor and played off the park' card doesn't work here. Dortmund pressed with great cohesion, and made life very hard for us, yes. We were a little lethargic and a few of our players were below par, yes. But despite all that, Dortmund had only two real chances. On the other hand, we could have had four on another night.

The game started with Dortmund racing off the blocks, although it wasn't quite as breathtaking a start as the one we had against Napoli. We dropped deep and although it may look like we were getting smashed, there was never really any period of time where we looked out of control. I will draw your attention to that annoying commentator again, who insisted we needed to do more, despite our strategy effectively shutting Dortmund out. I will now proceed to disagree. I disagree. Their goal came about simply because Aaron Ramsey decided to go on a slaloming run to the Dortmund goal. However, he committed the fundamental error of starting this run right outside his own penalty area. Sort of thing that happens all the time. Another day, we'd be toasting him. Mkhitaryan got the ball, and shot what I could only make out to be an apology of a shot. It somehow managed to flummox Szczesny though. 1-0 to Dortmund. But apart from that, they were restricted to a few shots from distance. It was controlled stuff from Arsenal in response to the waves of pressing that are a hallmark of this Dortmund side.

At the other end of the field, the two hottest players in the world were locked in a duel. Olivier Giroud may come 2nd in the looks department to Mats Hummels, but he bested the German on several occasions on the pitch. One of these successful duels resulted in Tomas Rosicky unleashing a ferocious volley that was cleared off the line by good ol' Hummels. It wasn't long before Subotic got into the act, with some slapstick defending that allowed Olivier Giroud to unleash a spectacular volley from like six inches out. Because Olli G doesn't do tap-ins. No sir. It was a well deserved reward for a guy who's been written off by so many people. He showed in this game he can hold his own against a top club. And make no mistake about that, Dortmund are a top, top club, probably better than any side Arsenal would have to face in the Premier League and it's to our immense credit that all 3 results would have seemed fair.

At this point, I'd like to point out a few indivividuals and praise/criticize them. Rosicky was really good, constantly buzzing, creating space, trying to make things happen. Shame he's so criminally underrated. Wilshere and Ramsey were off the boil, but another old head, Mikel Arteta, was phenomenal. You'll hear a lot of guff about Arsenal missing Flamini, but that's a massive disservice to our Spanish Pirlo (yes, I went there, sue me). I appreciate what Flamini brings to the table, but to say we'd have won/not lost without him is simplifying what was a fine tactical battle which I am not qualified to talk about. Ozil was heavily marked, but was very effective once he moved to the right. Cazorla sparked things up, and was unlucky not to score when Ozil set him up. I'm too lazy to add the umlauts by the way. I forgot to mention that we had a goal disallowed for no real reason in all this rambling. Ramsey couldn't get his 71453556th goal of the season because some guy pushed some other guy. What baffled everyone was that they were on the same team, so it doesn't really matter, but the ref disagreed. AND CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY HE ENDED BOTH HALVES ABOUT 30 SECONDS TOO EARLY. 30 EARTH SHATTERING SECONDS WITHIN WHICH WE'D HAVE SCORED 4 GOALS. Or not. #7 reckons he needed to pee, #18, who is the craziest of the lot, suggests it was a screwup by the broadcasters. Anyway, as the half progressed things were beginning to brighten up on the Arsenal horizon. We were pushing for the winner. Unfortunately, just as we were in the ascendancy, Dortmund pulled off one of those pesky little counter-attacks and that was game, set, and match.

It was a fantastic game between two evenly matched sides. Arsenal more than held their own, and would feel a little hard done by the result. Arsene Wenger was uncharacteristically critical of the team, calling them naive, and that in itself is something I view as a positive change from the ridiculous protection of old. The group is wide open, but I've no real worries that we'll get through provided we bounce back. It's been a theme of ours to lose a bunch of games once we've lost one. But this group has something different about them. A togetherness, a tactical awareness, and a toughness that has been missing for so long. And despite myself, I can't help but believe. Believe that we'll do very well this season that is. My bad, I meant I BEL14VE. (Take that United).


Think my belief is misplaced? Drop in a comment.
Thanking you,
Yours sincerely,
#14

What's in a Name?

There is reason to live once again, now that the dreadful international break is over. As I'm counting down the seconds to the Liverpool Newcastle game's kickoff, I get distracted and I start counting something else. Then one thing leads to another and before I know it, I'm writing an article and I'm typing "before I know it, I'm writing an article and I'm typing "before I know it.....

That went on for awhile, but finally, I managed to get started with something readable.

A few weeks ago, #14 endeared himself to all the ladies that he knew by posting a Hot XI vs a Not-So-Hot XI. This is another article along those lines, but it's not going to get anyone's libido humming so you don't have to worry about your parents walking in on you carefully observing pictures of hot men.

A Commentator's Dream XI vs A Commentator's Nightmare XI is what I'm going to call it.

One team full of players whose names are so easy to pronounce that they may very well be the first sound you made when you were an infant. On the other side, we have players whose sadistic parents spent days on end to come up with the most complicated of names to give their peers' vocal chords a real workout.

I'm only going to gauge the difficulty or simplicity in pronouncing the surname of a player and not his full name and the difficulty and simplicity is going to be predominantly based on the number of syllables in the name with certain difficult character combinations settling ties. Unlike #14, I'm just looking for players who have difficult to pronounce or easy to pronounce names and nothing else. If there are two players who seem to have names that are just as simple/difficult to pronounce, then I'll pick the better one, because this is after all a competitive game (hypothetically). Last but not least, all these players are from the Premier League only as I struggle to spell, pronounce or read names of players playing in other parts of Europe such as Jakub <Enter Last Name here>.

Kuba - I'd call him this over Blas..........i anyday

The Commentator's Nightmare XI:

GK: Jussi Jääskeläinen:

This man is the longest serving foreign goalkeeper in the Premier League and he's been playing since 1997 up until now. That's a Finnish name that probably includes the names of all the people in his bloodline.

I'm in the team Bitches

RB: Cesar Azpilicueta:
Spanish has always been a language with a few complicated words in its dictionary. People in Cesar's bloodline must be the same people who came up with difficult to pronounce Spanish based words such as Conquistador, but its clear that they saved the best tongue twisters for their family.

Azpilicueta is a good choice. I heard he's a brilliant player. *Subtlety*

CB: Per Mertesacker:
The lanky German has a last name that's as long as he is. Funny how if this entire process was carried out with just the first name, Mertesacker would be playing for his opponents today.

Good luck saying my name right on your first try

CB: Fernando Amorebieta:
The Spanish stopper seems to have a father or a set of forefathers who've given him a surname of four different fathers. If you thought that this was bad, Fernando Gabr Mardaras Amorebieta is his full name. With a name that tricky to write and pronounce, it's a good thing that Fulham started all of his paperwork early in the summer because they needed it.

Say my name right or else...

LB: Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa:
With a name like that, it was rumored that Newcastle tried to find a simpler nickname for him before they even sent him in for a medical. Priorities. He can play anywhere across the back four so he fits into the left back role here.

Bring on the mispronunciations. I'm ready

DM: Steven Nzonzi:
This is a player who really gets the fans and commentators buzzing whenever he's on the ball. But it's more due to the pronunciation of the 'Z's in his name rather than in anticipation of what he's going to do next.

Zzz zzz mothafuckas'

DM: Fernandinho:
It's a well known fact that Brazilians have huge and long winding names and they're given shorter names to be used in day to day life. But whoever gave Fernando Luiz Roza the name Fernandinho didn't really think twice.

You can't touch this

RAM: Morgan Amalfitano:
The Albion winger has been given a name that twists and turns your vocal chords just as he twists and turns your team's wide playing defenders. This man has become a permanent fixture in Steve Clark's side much to the dismay of whoever has to print out their matchday shirts.

Print This!

CAM: Gylfi Sigurdsson:
Icelandic names are probably the worst amongst all of the types of Scandinavian names. Ever since Eidur Gudjohnsen, we've only had one Icelandic player in the league, but that in itself is a mouthful to write, type or say.

That's not how you spell my name

LAM: Gabriel Agbonlahor:
Once upon a time hailed as England's next best thing, the wide man has fallen out of England contention. But he's made sure that nobody forgets his claim to fame with a name to maim.

Lemme hear you say Gabriel Agbonlahor!

ST: Ricky van Wolfswinkel:
The Norwich City frontman has been called O Lobo (the Wolf) and HatRicky in the past. No offense, but these nicknames seem to be given more for the sake of convenience rather than a sense of fondness from the fans.

City van Wolfswinkel

The Commentator's Dream XI:

GK: Joe Hart:
The England No.1 is not only the first name on the teamsheet before every game because he's the goalkeeper. It probably has something to do with a name that simple.

Hart plays with Heart

RB: Nathaniel Clyne:
The Saints have a great production line of talent with players like Bale and Walcott coming out of their ranks. Clyne seems to be a promising player and may be more like Bale in terms of fulfilling his potential, but is certainly like Bale in terms of the simplicity of his name.

My name is Clyne and Imma' runnin' down the line

CB: David Luiz:
Sideshow Bob aka David Luiz has been talked about a lot since his arrival from Benfica. This may not have been that much of a trend had his parents been more generous in terms of the length of his name.

Bob. Sideshow Bob.

CB: Winston Reid:
It's usually the common names that are the simplest to pronounce. Or the simplest to pronounce names are that easy to pronounce because they're so common. Regardless of whether the egg came before the chicken or vice versa, Winston Reid has an extremely simple name and is a no brainer for this team.

Winston Reid asking for some Winston Red

LB: Razvan Rat:
I sure hope for his own sake that he wasn't in an English medium school because a name like that is an open invitation for a shot at that name.(Here, I'd like to add that #14 deplores my reluctance to use pronouns, but I don't give a Rat's ass). But his name is a word that we learn to say when we've just joined school, so no surprise that he makes this team.

Why do you guys keep laughing whenever someone calls out my name?

DM: Leroy Fer:
A lot of commentators must be thanking their lucky stars that a player who probably touches the ball the most in a game has a name that's smaller than a single stud on his boots.

Wait. This isn't the Hot team?

DM: Fabian Delph:
Fabian Delph has quietly gone about his work and has snuck into the Villa starting 11. He certainly had a lot of help with that name.

I got the moves like Jagger

RAM: Nani:
Hindi word for Grandmother. Name of a talented winger. 'Nuff said.

I got more abs than letters in my name

CAM: Bryan Ruiz:
Ironic how two Spanish names had players right at the top of the previous list and how the same language provides us with a silky smooth name for a silky smooth player.

cRuizing along

LAM: Damien Duff:
The Irish are stereotyped as a bunch of people who can't stop drinking. If you're drunk, you're gonna need names that are easy to pronounce despite slurring of speech and lo and behold, Duff.

I sure could do with a pint

ST: Demba Ba:
When was the last time we had a player who's got a shirt number that's longer than the name on his shirt? He must have some confusing moments if he'd been in and around people whose names have a B-A in them. Like BA-rtholemew or BA-rthez or even Drog-BA.

There ain't no masking my class yo'

With that the two teams have been populated and I'll summarize the teams for you one more time before we get into predictions.

Commentator's Nightmare Team:

Commentator's Dream Team:

Our Predictions:
#7   - 2-0 to the Dream team
#14 - 1-0 to the Nightmare team
#18 - 2-1 to the Dream team
#25 - 2-1 to the Dream team

And that's it from me for now. If you feel that this entire article has been useless and that I'm dyslexic, then free feel below comment too,

Later 'Til
25#